Did you ever notice that you’re accumulating stuff?
I sure don’t notice, all I knew was that I felt victorious whenever I go shopping and came back with bags of goodies, things which I presumed that I need.
When I run out of storage, it means is time for me to sort things through, and I’m usually amazed by:
- the amount of things I accumulated over the years – it just keeps growing
- the amount of junk I decide to throw out – it also just keeps growing
- the amount of things I don’t know what to do with – it never stop growing
I wished I grew as much hair as I grew my possessions.
Strange that we are often defined by what we possessed – the house we live in, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the branded bags we carry, our jobs, our statues etc. The list never ends and we kept wanting more and more, before we knew it, we are consumed by these endless materialistic pursue and lose balance in life, lost sight of what are the most important things in life.
I was suddenly reminded of what my uncle said to me couple of years back, “When you’re younger, you accumulate things, but when you grow older, you want to get rid of things.”
I never understood what my uncle meant until now. Probably I’m approaching another milestone in life, just as Confucious wrote: 三十而立,四十而不惑. (30 to establish oneself, 40 to not doubt oneself)
I’ve always wonder if I’ve established myself since I’ve passed 30. But how do I get to the stage of not doubting myself? Especially with the ups and downs in the past few years,it is hard not to doubt myself when difficulties strike.
于丹教授在她的书 《于丹《论语》心得》,第七章人生之道就同样的问了这问题。我很喜欢于丹教授的解读:
“从而立到不惑,这是人生最美好的光阴。一个人在三十岁以前是用加法生活的,就是不断地从这个世界上收集他所需要的东西,比如经验,财富,感情,名誉,等等。但是,物质越多,人就越容易迷惑。
三十岁以后,就要开始用减法生活了,也就是要学舍弃那些不是你心灵真正需要的东西。。。。当敢舍弃,知道如何舍弃的时候,人才真正接近不惑的状态。
那么什么叫不惑?就是人能够自觉按照中庸的理念去思考,行事。即使外部世界给你许多不公正,打击,缺憾,你也能在一个坐标上迅速建立自己应有的位置。”
Indeed, to be able to not doubt oneself required great wisdom and tenacity.
As I came to the end of my clean out, I had the most daunting task – deciding what to do with category [3]. The difficult decision represents my attachment to these material things. Most of the time they are useless to me, but it seemed such a waste to throw them out or give away. What did I do with them eventually? I hide them.
Waiting for the next round of clean out, maybe then I’ll have the courage to separate myself from them.





